How to overcome struggles and become who you truly are

How to Overcome Struggles, Obstacles, and Challenges and Become Who You Truly Are

Where to start? Really.

It’s easiest to speak from experience. I know where I once was, the feeling that it instilled in me. I now know where I am today and the feeling of knowing who I truly am.

This is the story of how I overcame my struggles and became who I truly am today. It is my hopes that by telling you my story you will feel strong enough, brave enough, or whatever it is you need to overcome your struggles and challenges and become who you truly are. Who you know you were meant to be at heart.

From a very young age I always knew who I wanted to be and what I wanted to be. I think this is true for most people.

It was my dream……

to be successful! And that looks different for all of us.

My definition of success looked like this:

Working a well paying job such has an attorney (that was my old dream), owning a nice comfortable sized house, getting married, having children, and living comfortable meaning having enough money to get by without struggling. Being able to buy the things I needed and didn’t need as well. Go on annual vacations and enjoy weekly outings. Owning a nice vehicle.

That probably sums it up!

Pretty Simple Really.

Fast Forward until about 2020

I was 40 years old feeling like I should be living way more than I was. I was a “happy” person. I also had things like lack living inside of me. Resentment. Not feeling worthy or enough. I also had my ideal of success as mentioned above. But, something was missing.

I wanted to be heard and understood.

I began my journey of self growth, personal development, spiritual revival, etc.

I then became who I knew I really was and am today.

This discovery process continues today, however, lasted about a year when I was confident enough to divorce the person I had been so unhappy with for so long. A person with narcissistic character traits and behavior who never got me or understood me.

I had learned what gaslighting was, verbal abuse, and truth from the lies. This process can be extremely detrimental for some.

For me, I attribute my strength, resilience, knowing, eagerness, ability to my self discovery process.

I breezed through my divorce. I was strong and confident throughout and knew there was something bigger on the other side.

I now know, if I overcame (obstacles and challenges) to become who I know I truly am, so can YOU!

The new me is transformed. Truly transformed.

Now, my definition of success is keep evolving and help as many other people evolve as I can. Each and every day.

This is why I now do what I do. I went from working as a paralegal for 15 years to becoming a Health and Wellbeing Coach.

There’s a lot of details, as you can imagine, of all the in between, however, I think you get the general idea without all the pesky details.

Now, I’d like to provide you with some of the useful books, methods, and tools I used so you can do the same.

This is how I began my journey

Youtube

I began listening to Youtube videos for self help and encouragement. I came across the terms manifest and Universal Law. I was listening to Jake Ducey who referenced a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I immediately had to get the book. I read “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and “Becoming Supernatural”. Both extremely helpful to my growth and evolution.

I also listened to Abraham and Joyce Meyer quite a bit. These women gave me a lot if inspiration and the faith that I needed.

Meditation

Dr. Joe describes and teaches meditation in his book “Becoming Supernatural”. I had nothing to lose at this point except for my old personality. I began getting up early in the am before anyone else in the house at the time around 4:00a.m. to make sure I could do my meditation without being disturbed and I did it religiously.

Awareness

I came to know self-awareness was key to making changes. Paying attention to my thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors, and actions was bigger than I thought it was at the time. I learned that 95% of someone’s day they are operating subconsciously, on auto pilot. I found that very astonishing.

Awareness gave me control of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors.

Questioning the Truth

Just asking yourself the simple question “is that even true”? You’d be surprised the response much of the time. We (humans) are programmed and we have beliefs that aren’t always true, we just believe them to be because at one point we downloaded them from parents, adults, teachers, etc. Some of us come up with on our own beliefs but that doesn’t mean it’s always true.

Example: Living with narcissistic behavior I was told a lot of things about myself that I began to question and determined they were not true or at least I wasn’t going to hold those truths.

Try it: Ask yourself right now “is that even true”? about something in your life that doesn’t quite seem to align with who you really are.

I had an old belief that I would only get married once in life so that meant sticking it out. Hello…..why would I do that?!

That was a belief that I had to overcome. Thankfully!

Not Letting the Lies In

This was very beneficial for my wellbeing at the time. If you are familiar at all with what it’s like living with someone with narcissistic character traits then this part is huge. Being told you are undeserving, selfish, all kinds of nasty names to belittle you can be harmful. When you use awareness and know the truth you can hear the words, yet automatically reject them as not the truth and not let them in to affect you.

This wasn’t easy and it took practice but I was able to strengthen my resilience because of this and increase my mental and emotional capacity.

Exercise & Nutrition

This was huge to my overall wellbeing. I ate nutritiously most of the time. I focused on mostly fruits, vegetables, and a lean protein. I would allow myself to have refined carbs usually on weekends. Nutrition was something I felt in control of and it made me feel good.

I exercised pretty much daily, it was something I could focus on and feel good about. I loved taking my daily walks/runs outdoors. If your familiar with my blog I once use to upload workout videos on Youtube.

In summary….

Where am I today

Where I am today is where I want you to be. I am truly happy and I have truly overcome struggles, obstacles, challenges to become who I truly am.

Today I am happily remarried to the absolute perfect man for me. He gets me, he understands me and that’s what I wanted. I wanted to be me and loved for being me. Together we have 5 children and 1 grandchild and I am so in love with our family we created together.

How You Can Overcome Struggles and Become Who You Truly Are

• Sit quietly with yourself. Focus your intention on your heart. Breathe slower and deeper than usual until you find a comfortable rhythm.
• Be the observer. Listen to your thoughts as they come in without judgment. Just notice them. Release them or let them dissolve if necessary.

• When a thought comes in, challenge it, ask, “is this even true”? “Is this just a belief I came to know at some point in my life?”
• Then, sit quietly and meditate on that thought.
• Schedule in your meditation practice.
• Practice awareness. Start paying attention to you thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, and behaviors. Note what serves you and what needs letting go. Use self-awareness when it comes to the language you use. It is human nature to be self critical. Think about that thought, how loving is being critical to yourself?
• Practice Grace and Praise. Give yourself Grace when you’re less than perfect. Congratulate yourself with praise when you succeed with your focused outcome.
• Journal – try journaling. It can be very helpful for some people. It doesn’t provide for me personally so it’s not part of my regimen but I know a lot of people who find it very soothing. Give it a try if you haven’t or use your journal if you have one and enjoy it.
• Get out in nature. There is a lot of scientific research (none supplied here) of the benefits nature has on your health including your mental and emotional wellbeing. I can attest to this myself as I mentioned my walks I took daily outdoors were so satisfying.
• Read or listen to inspirational messages. If I walked indoors on the treadmill rather than outdoors I would listen to Podcasts, Joyce Meyer, Abraham Hicks as mentioned above. Starting your day with positivity helps it stick throughout the rest of the day.
• Stay away from negativity. Some people or places have negative vibes, pull those weeds and move on.
• Make yourself a priority sometimes and do what you want to do.
• Try some Yoga or something new like an art class.
• Practice gratitude. Lots of scientific research on the positive effects of gratitude. Be creative, there are many different ways you can practice gratitude. “The Magic” by author Rhonda Byrne really showed me the magic of gratitude.

To conclude, there are obviously lots of tools, techniques, and actions you can take today to help you overcome your struggles and obstacles.

The key is to take action today by trying at least one thing you think will help you. If you do nothing, nothing changes. I invite you to be creative and come up with some new ideas while sitting quietly. If you would, please let me know what they are, if and how it helped you so we can pass it on.

If you desire a Guide, a Mentor, a Coach to help you on your journey and keep you accountable book your free Discovery Call today. It’s free, just a quick 15 minute chat to discover what your desires are and how I can help you.

For a Deeper Dive Into Self-Help

If your seeking further self-help with more tools and techniques read this article on How to Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Physical Wellbeing.

There is also a helpful Guide to Transformation in the article. I hope and pray that you find peace in your heart.